Monday, September 7, 2009
B-Rated: Alien Contamination (1980)
Best Quote: Hubbard: [after slapping Col. Stella Holmes] This is just so we understand each other.
Super Short Summary: Alien "Cyclops" convinces space explorer to move it to Columbia to grow deadly alien space eggs, develop a distribution network and cover import-export business in order to sneak deadly alien eggs into New York City's sewers.
Why You Should Never Watch This Movie: While the 80's may have had it's moments, this movie will make you wish you never lived through it. Despite the lead female character's rank as a colonel, she runs around like a helpless woman while the lead male, Lutinent Tony Aris, acts like an arrogant, cocky male throughout. While that may be distracting, you'll be more distracted by the poor blood-splattering special effects and poor costumes of the investigation teams who are assigned to examine a biological agent which has killed a crew. The team climbs on board wearing painter's masks and open face suits which don't seal at the hands, wearing fabric mittens and exposed bottoms (you can see the actor's jeans!). I know it was the 80's, but that's just stupid.
If the Cyclops doesn't get you, the eye liner will.